The Word That Closed a Lion’s Mouth

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I was all prepared to write about forgiveness today. I had my notes laid out and everything.

But, God gave me something else. I don’t know who needs this, besides me, but here we go.

I have always dealt with anxiety. I can get in my head and run down a million rabbit holes following each “what if”. It feels overwhelming and scary, even though I know the thoughts aren’t rational. Worst case scenarios dance around with worries about what I would do in each situation. Past fears come back in and for some reason, all I can focus on are the negatives coming at me.

Does anyone else recognize what I’m describing?

Well, this morning, I woke up from a fitful sleep around 6:30 am.

Actually, let me start over. I went to bed at 3:00, after caring for my daughter who was sick. Yes, I mean that kind of sick. Hair holding, clean up after, grab a change of clothes kind of illness. My heart was breaking for her. I had purposely stayed awake instead of going to bed, because my mom instinct was pretty sure she’d need me. And it’s better to just be awake, then fall asleep and be woken up that way. Am I right?

Needless to say, going to bed at 3:00 am was one thing, but we all know that I was not sleeping soundly. Mom radar had me jolting at each sound, waiting for another call. Even though none came, by the time I started to become more aware of birds chirping and the early hours of a quiet house calling me, my anxiety was kicking in full force. And the frustrating part is that I really had done a great job of conquering this particular fear. I thought.

For years, after my second son had been hospitalized with some kind of bone infection that took so long to diagnose, I would get over-anxious at even the thought of one of the kids being sick.

What if it was serious? What if it spread to all the kids? To my husband and I? How do I help them if I don’t know what’s wrong? Do we go to the doctor yet? If we go to the doctor, will we catch something else? What if they are allergic to the medications? What if I give it to them and then they throw up and it didn’t have a chance to work? Do I give them more? Will that poison them?

I told you there were a lot of rabbit holes. You didn’t really believe me, did you?

This morning, I was laying in bed with the darkness surrounding me like a cold blanket. I felt shaky inside. I kept worrying about how she was. Did she have something contagious and others in the house would be falling next? My phone went off a few times with sweet friends texting back to tell me they were praying (yes, I had kicked in the prayer chain with some friends last night). I would hear the ding and see the light and think it may be my daughter again, telling me she still felt bad.

I tried praying. I really did. In the small part of my brain that was still logical, I knew that I needed to be serious in claiming victory over the negative and fearful thoughts and replace them with His Word and His Grace. But I was struggling. It couldn’t seem to penetrate the wall. So, I did what I always do in those situations. I make myself get up and change my environment. I seek out the company of someone else who I know will pray with me and speak truth into me.

I stepped into the living room to find my husband up early working and he could tell I wasn’t doing well. He’s walked me through this valley many times. He had the words, the calming voice, and the reminder and invitation to pray.

I love doing this. You know, when you feel you the need of a Word from the Lord and you open the bible or some devotional and the passage jumps off the page and says, “Hey… I wrote this JUST FOR YOU!”

We opened the daily readings and I found a Lenten Meditation from EWTN. Here’s where God came to me. Truly and very much present, answering my prayer for strength and peace. Check this out.

The Lenten Meditation had nothing to do with what I was feeling. It was about a totally different topic. I was thinking at first that this wasn’t going to be one of those ah-ha moments. But, then right at the end…

1 Peter 5:8 “Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” 



Wait! There it is! This is how I was feeling. Like someone or something was trying to devour my peace with fear. I grabbed my bible to read the rest of the passage. I’m kind of “gotta know the context” type of gal.

I Peter 5: 6-11: “So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you. Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for [someone] to devour. Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings. The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ [Jesus] will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little. To him be dominion forever. Amen”
 
Oh, yes and yes!!! This passage was for me! And, then as I went back to the Daily Readings, that I’d already studied and prepared, new phrases were jumping off the page. See if you can find the pattern that the Lord showed me.
In Isaiah 55, he speaks of how the rain falls and “gives seed to the one who sows and bread to the one who eats”. He goes on to compare this to His Word and how it will not “return to me void, but shall do my will, achieving the end for which I sent it.” Ok, Lord, your Word will accomplish that which you sent it to do. It will feed me, plant seeds within me that will grow.
Wait… 1 Peter 5… YOU sent that to me and I felt peace come upon me. I gained strength to stand against the enemy who would steal my joy and make me want to be sad and fearful. Oh no, this lion can’t touch me!
Psalm 34: Just look at this.
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” 
“When the poor one called out, the Lord heard, and from all his distress he saved him.”
“When the just cry out, the Lord hears them, and from all their distress he rescues them. The Lord is close the the brokenhearted and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.”
And, last but not least, Matthew 6:8 “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
Can you see what He did? He reminded me that His Word will always be there for me and it that it is Powerful. He said that He is close to me. Close enough to hear my cries and that He will save me, if I seek Him. And, catch the words of Jesus. There we go. The final clue. He knew what I needed before I even asked. He was prepared to give me 1 Peter 5. 
But, here is where I come into the picture, not just as the passive recipient. I had to be willing to fight the voices in my head. I had to take the step to pray. I had to remember to open the Scriptures to hear Him speak. I needed to go sit at His feet and listen. I opened the door and invited Him in. And he gladly came in to visit with me.
Maybe someone reading this today, needs to hear this too. It’s made a huge difference in this tired Momma’s day. I hope you are blessed as well.
XOXO,
Barb



Tuesday’s Readings (Isaiah 55:10-11, Psalm 34. Matthew 6:7-15)

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Published by cutelilmom

My girls call me Cute Lil Mom. It's a nickname that's stuck and I love it. I love my family and my faith and I'm passionate about both. Sometimes, as I sit and enjoy my coffee and my quiet time, words just want to spill out of me and I need some place to share them. So, here is my blog. I may be the only one that ever reads them and that's ok. But, if you've stumbled upon this page and the words touch you or spark some words of your own, grab your coffee (or tea) and let's chat.

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7 thoughts on “The Word That Closed a Lion’s Mouth”

  1. Love this so much! You would never believe it, but He has been doing the same thing for me. I am literally in awe. What a good, good Father we have! I think about all the times I let that fear and anxiety have it’s way with me. He was just a prayer (with scripture away). That is how I have been hearing Him speak to me so clearly this Lent. It is awesome. I just can’t get over it. I feel like I am unfolding a whole other level of His goodness.

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  2. Oh, you and I are on a very similar journey, friend. We really need to make some time to have coffee one day and share together. Maybe read some Scripture too! LOL I know I'm not the only one with anxiety issues, but it is kind of reassuring to hear it from others. When you're dealing with it, you sure feel like you're alone. Praying with you.

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  5. JUST BE WITH ME. These are the very words that I start with for Adoration in the Chapel. Yes, we GET STUFF from sitting in contemplation. We get peace and comforting and solace and joy and deep relaxation. We get stuff because it is as Jesus desires to give to us when we are in the person of Mary at His feet. This 'stuff' is not what He ultimately desires to give to us; it is to be WITH Him that He desires. I have always explained and called the 'stuff' of sitting silently before the Eucharistic Lord as the \”Milk and cookies\” of this visiting with Him at His house. After we visit a many times He may not serve the cookies and milk because He just wants us to be WITH HIM for the sake of being with Him. After 23 years of nearly daily contemplation, I have drawn some conclusions. I learned from this experience to go every day with only one expectation, \”I am going there to look at Him and for Him to look at me just because I want to BE WITH HIM.\” Anything else is up to Him. I repeat in my usual intro to any contemplative adoration, \”Lord, I just want to BE WITH YOU. Everything is up to You.\”

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  6. The goal of going deeper. Always working towards that. It can be hard to sit still and just be. But that is my goal. Always asking for the GRACE to do that. Thanks for sharing!

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