One of the quickest ways I know of moving from peace to disquiet is negative talk.
I’ve listened to gossip. I’ve been the one spreading the gossip. I’ve been the subject of the gossip. But, haven’t we all?
What I think is really interesting, is the fact that deep down, we all know it’s not a good idea to listen the stories of others. But, it is just so easy. It’s so tempting to spill the latest “tea”, as they say.
Yet, we all know that if we were the subject of the gossip, we would be hurt. Just thinking about some of the things that have been said about me, can bring the wound back and the pain feels fresh. So, why do I forget that feeling when I find myself venting about something that happened or passing judgement?
Could it be that we feel better about ourselves while bringing others down? Does focusing on other’s faults help us mask our own?
“Our condemnation is often the veil for our own weakness: we cover up our nakedness with the mantle of criticism; we see the mote in our brother’s eye, but never the beam in our own. We carry all our neighbor’s faults in a sack in front of us, and all our own in a sack behind us.” Fulton Sheen
This quote has been planted in my heart and mind and, paired with the passage from Isaiah above, has convicted my heart. I literally added a new discipline I want to cultivate during this season yesterday. Keeping my mouth shut and offering grace and forgiveness instead of judgement and scandal. Can I just say, that as soon as I prayed to cut this out, I was tested ALL day! Watch what you pray for, is a really true statement.
My words can wound a person even if they never hear them, by destroying their reputation in the eyes of others. In my pride and in my quest to show myself above the “poor behavior” of someone else, I am showing myself no better. Add to that the fact that I don’t truly know the “why” in someone’s heart. I view something and see it from my perspective only.
God, who does know the heart of others, forgave them with the words, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” Guess what? We don’t have the wisdom of God. Maybe we should stop acting as if we do.
I know… Ouch. This is hitting too close to home for me. I need to get the judgement out of my heart and fill it with His Grace. That will help me be less Martha and more Mary. I want to see others how Jesus sees them.
As, Fulton Sheen says, “If a box is filled with salt, it can’t be filled with sand, and if our hearts are filled with hatred of our neighbor, how can God fill them with His love?”
Gossip is malicious. It is not loving. It doesn’t really help our hearts and minds to “vent” to others. If we have an issue, let’s instead take it to the Lord. Let’s ask His help in being quiet. Let’s ask ourselves three questions before we speak.
1. Is it true?
2. Is it good?
3. Is it useful?
If the answer is no to any of these, then be quiet. And maybe, if the answer is yes to any of these, still be quiet. Let’s just all slow down and think more before we speak.
(Check out Fr. Mike Schmitz on YouTube: 3 Questions to Ask to Prevent Gossiping) Test of 3
Instead, let’s do what it says in Philippians 4:8. This can only bring about a clean heart.
Do you have any tips on how to conquer this tendency in our lives? Comment below.
XOXO,
Barb
Need more Scripture to convict your hearts, check out these.
Psalm 142, James 3, 1 Peter 3:8-10
Saturday’s Readings Isaiah 58:9-14, Psalm 86: 1-6, Luke 5:27-32
Reflections of a Cute Lil Mom 
Oh, my! Yes!! Such hard words to hear, yet such truth! If, in the midst our frustrations—before we speak, we can take the time to ask ourselves those 3 questions, we would probably alleviate a large amount of gossip and slander. There is definitely a higher standard to which we must keep coming back. Someone mentioned recently that before we vent to another person we should \”vent\” in prayer to God. Sound advice!
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