How Can We Give Them the World?

Mother’s Day makes me ponder. I reflect on the strange fact that I’m actually a mom. I mean, I still feel like I’m 25 years old. My body tries to tell me differently every morning, but my brain refuses to accept reality. Have I really lived long enough to have 5 children, one of them knocking on his own 25 year old door? It doesn’t seem real.

And yet, I can also remember all those precious moments when the doctor said, “It’s a boy.” or “It’s a girl.” That was then followed by the joy, and the laughter, and the sleepless nights, and the non-stop crying (whether it was the kid or me, I’m not telling.) What an incredible gift the years have been since I became a mom. There are so many dreams that we carry around for our children when they are young. We work so hard to raise them right, teaching them values, praying they find faith, hoping that they become good people. We want, more than anything, to give them the world!

You watch as they move from helpless to self-sufficient. And it seems like that phase can take forever, until you realize it was truly just a blink. They are swaddled in a blanket one minute and in a white gown and veil the next. They are wearing mismatched socks and a tiny Spurs jersey trying to read Dr. Seuss and suddenly they stand before you in a cap and gown. The time in between is a blur, yet distinct moments can come into focus with a word, a smell, or a song. In a flash, you can feel their small arms around your neck cuddled in for a nap on your shoulder. You can actually feel their little hand grasping yours as you walk around the park towards the swing. And that little voice lifted in prayer comes floating into your ear and down deep into your heart, echoing with innocence and a reminder of the times when faith in Someone bigger came easy.

Today, I’m leaning into that faith in Someone who knows what I’m feeling. Someone who gave me the gift of these children and trusted me to do right by them. Because, this has been a time of transition in my life. So many changes, but one thing remains the same. I love my kids and I’m so incredibly proud of them. One is already married. One will be watching his bride come down the aisle in July. Two are graduating college, one graduating high school, and the baby will be a freshman in a matter of months. The diapers and car-seats are long gone, the homeschooling is almost done, and the Saturdays spent at games and auditions are fewer.

I’m also learning that I have forgotten how to cook for less than 7 people and my husband can only eat so many leftovers, but that’s another post for some other time.

I can feel my role shifting. The new path I’m on looks familiar, yet strangely, I’m not always comfortable with my footing. Those skills I learned and spent the last 24 years mastering, they sometimes don’t work as well in this new environment. And yet, here’s the thing. My prayers and hopes for them haven’t changed. I hope I’ve raised them right. I hope their values are true. I pray they know how much they are loved by their God and that they love Him in return. And I honestly believe they have become good people! I’m proud of that.

My desire to give them the world is no different than most parents, I’m guessing. I think we all want our children to find their passion and make a difference. We want them to be happy and safe. We want them to live fulfilled lives that bring them joy and allow them to share their blessings with others. But, I hear people saying how tough our world is right now, how divisive and angry. I hear how hard it must be to bring children into this world at this time. I understand the thoughts, even if I think that it is precisely because this world is so confused, that we need to be bringing forth new life and raising them to make a difference. Yesterday, as I listened to two moms on a podcast discuss motherhood and how hard this last year has been, I heard some wisdom that made me pause. It truly was a shift in my perspective and seems to be another way of addressing some of the common opinions.

One mom said that as she looked at all that was happening in the world right now, from pandemics to politics and from divisions to cancellations, she turned to her husband and said, “What kind of world are we giving our children and grandchildren?”

And his response? “We aren’t called to give them the world. We are called to give them Heaven.”

Moms, hear this. There are only so many things we can control and that number is actually really small. We can do our best to make a difference in this world, but we won’t solve it all. I’ll bet all parents have probably looked outside their windows and thought, “I want it to be easier for my kids than it has been for me, but sometimes it feels like they will have to face things we never imagined. This world is so messed up.” And they would be right. This side of heaven is messy. This world will never be a utopia, because we, as humans, are far from perfect. But, God didn’t give us our babies so that we would all live here forever. We are blessed with these tiny humans and called to raise them to know God and get to Heaven. Because this world is passing and we are just passing through. Our time here is limited, but our time with Him is without end.

So, rest easy. Focus on what’s important. And don’t let the struggles and craziness that is outside your door stop you from remembering that your job as a mom is to raise your kids to know, love, and serve the Lord. And if they learn that, they will have good values, strong faith, and be good people. It’s okay that you can’t give them the world, but if you point them towards heaven, maybe, just maybe, they will help make this world a better place as they pass through.

XOXO,

Barb