“So let our sacrifice be in your presence today as we follow you unreservedly; for those who trust in you cannot be put to shame. And now we follow you with our whole heart…” Daniel 3:17-18
I want to be able to say to the Lord, that I can follow unreservedly. What does following Him with my whole heart really look like? This is definitely a process where I seem to take one step forward and two steps back, over and over. Tell me I’m not alone.
My prayer to Jesus has been to help me on this journey and to make me aware of what I need to be doing that will lead me to a greater surrender and a more consistent walk in His Will for me.
For years, my life has been busy with 5 kids, home schooling, working with my husband at church, and running a business from home. It’s always been a non stop race. But, in taking time this year to simplify, I’ve had to re-evaluate many of these things and how I’ve handled them all. I always joked that I had a turkey platter and could balance so many things at once. I thought I thrived on being so busy.
What I’m learning, is that, for me, that wasn’t exactly true. I do like to have things to sink my teeth into. But, it is easy to get swept up into lots of things that are good and miss out on what is best. I’ve learned that I am getting burned out and frustrated and then I’m not doing any of my things well.
I heard Fr. Mike Schmitz, in a video the other day, talk about being ALL IN as a disciple. That we can’t have a “I’ll sorta kinda try” attitude. Peter, James, and John were asked by Jesus to go with him to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. He asks them to watch and pray. They say, in Fr. Mike’s words, “I’ll kinda sorta try.” and then fall asleep. This was something big. Something important was happening and they weren’t all in. They were all asleep. All distracted. They missed it and have to live with that.
Wow, did that hit me. I don’t want to be chasing things that are not of Him in my life. I want to be doing what He’s given me the gifts to do and do it well.
So, now I have to seek the discernment to recognize what that looks like. I am not patient. I want to jump ahead and know it all yesterday. I know some of you are nodding your heads right now in agreement. You suffer from it too, don’t you? One day at a time, that’s all I’m guaranteed. So, focusing on today and how I can do what He has put in front of me in obedience and faith; that’s my goal.
Here’s what I know, right now.
* I have to make prayer and silence a priority each day.
* I have to really look at what is in my life right now with a critical eye.
* I have to weigh each thing and see if it is good or best.
* I have to cut those things that are not leading me closer to God or taking me out of the present moment.
* I have to recognize the things that cause me stress and anxiety and learn how to better handle them or remove them completely.
* I have to then set some boundaries for the good, so that they don’t infringe on the best.
This will take some time. I have to be okay with that. I think my turkey platter needs to be replaced with a dinner plate. Enough space to handle the things I need without living a supersized life that isn’t healthy.
What do you think?
XOXO,
Barb
Reflections of a Cute Lil Mom 