Sometimes you think you know. You think you have something down and you’re doing a good job. Then you hear it. Or you read it. And it’s just a small pebble, but the ripples that flow out start to shake up what you thought you knew. That tiny “it” changes the whole way you do what you do.
I’m talking, one of those, “What? Why have I not been doing this? Wait a minute… what?”
That just happened to me this morning. Spending time with the Lord each day has become more consistent. I’ve been pleased with the journey and how simplifying my life in other areas has freed up more time to be with Him. I now have my routine. Don’t we all need that if we are going to stay focused?
Each day, I get up and move to the living room where it is quiet, let out the dog while I grab my coffee, and make sure I have my Bible and books I’m reading. (Yes, I said books… I can’t seem to just read one at a time… don’t judge.) Armed with all I need, I curl up with my puppy and soft warm blanket and I hang out with Jesus. Sounds nice, right? It really is.
But, today, as I was reading from this book… (Squirrel moment: You guys need to check this out. It’s amazing! In fact, I’ll share more soon.)
I was hit with a pebble that knocked me off my feet. (metaphorically speaking, since I was lounging all snuggled on the couch.) It went something like this.
I open up the Examen book and begin the next chapter. I’ve been incorporating St. Ignatius’ spiritual exercises into my life. There are steps to this prayer and they make a lot of sense to me.
So, we start with gratitude. Got that one down. I can look back over my day and see where God showed His love in concrete ways. But, step two is Petition. When I hear that, my first thought is, “Ok, time to start telling Jesus what I need for him to do.”
WRONG! Here comes the pebble. If you are not careful, you will miss this. I almost did.
This petition means, “turn to God in humble prayer, asking for the grace that alone can make our examen fruitful. (Spiritual Exercises, 43)”
Wait, so I am not asking God to do my will in all these areas? I’m just asking Him to come and make my prayer time more effective? What an amazing idea!
Ok, you may already know this. You may already DO this. But, I haven’t been. I haven’t taken that one little step at the beginning of my prayer time. Doesn’t matter if I’m doing the Examen prayer or just simply praying, reading Scripture, whatever. I need to be taking a moment to simply ask Him to come and make this time more.
More what? More fruitful. More grace-filled. More life changing. More… heavenly.
Hear this part and tell me it doesn’t rock you.
“This faith-inspired and hope-filled asking is the second step in the examen; in this step, desire, now warmed by gratitude, takes shape as a petition of the heart, asking that vivifying grace effect in us what God has inspired us to “wish and desire.” Fr. Gallagher
This step will now allow me to have a deeper understanding and freedom. It’s about getting the Grace to take it to the next level. I guess I always just assumed that my time with Him would bear fruit. It is all good to be with Him and to pray. But, how did I miss that making a conscious effort to speak these words EACH time I come to Him would make such a difference? Our God is patient and does not force His way in. But He is gladly waiting to be invited. I obviously, have the desire that He has placed in my heart, but now it’s time to ask Him to be present and help me change. I think that gentle reminder and humility on my part, to know I can’t do this without Him is a game changer.
Simply put, I need to stop just jumping in and start inviting Him to come sit on the couch with me. I’ll bet my puppy would love sitting in His lap too. What a great image. Me and Jesus, with Jules (the poodle) squeezed in between, cuddled on the sofa, talking about the day and the needs on my heart. Me, listening to His calm voice, explaining to me what He needs me to do and how He wants me to work on those areas where selfishness and laziness reign. Oh, I may not want to hear it, but I think it will be ok, because, it always feels better to hear bad news, if you’re wrapped in your Father’s arms.
This “pebble prayer of petition” will stretch me. I can almost guarantee it. Now, it’s in His hands. I’m inviting Him to make this prayer time what He desires for our relationship and to give me what I need, even if I don’t know what that is. Oh boy!
So, now, this small step. When we come to him to “hang out” and grow closer, let’s ask our Father to bless this time, fill it with Grace, and let him know we truly want what he will be giving us in that time. Don’t skip over this. I love this new perspective.
What are your thoughts? Please talk with me in the comments below.
XOXO,
Barb
Reflections of a Cute Lil Mom 